understand how our partner is when we realize how we handle the worst moments how someone deals with life problems tells you so much about them and how you can live with this person forever as a partner maybe they won't get cold maybe they'll get stressed out distance and then blame it on their bad day or them being stressed out or their anxiety but a lot of times we accept this behavior because we're supposed to accept our partner if we love them right so we accept the fact that they continue to apologize and accept the fact that they may get angry cold or distant when stressful situations arrive but then blame it on a bad day or they're just sorry here's what I've seen so many times in my practice is when this happens it continues to be an excuse for their bad behavior my anxiety just get the best of me and this becomes a cycle where now the hard times sometimes get
pushed under the rug the integrity gets pushed under the rug and avoided because of how our partner may respond to stressful situations which opens up for more stress and separation in the relationship then one day you wake up and both of you aren't as happy as you used to be here's the thing that happens in healthy relationships when things go wrong do the both of you have a calming presence for each other let's say the kid gets in trouble at school do you work to calm the other down when the other is probably a little concerned or worried and a problem arises or how about when you have money issues how do you handle this as a team or do you separate and play offense for another team let me clarify a lot about why I talk about you having to be healthy yourself in order to have a healthy relationship you know so many of us walk through life attaching to another individual in order to feel
the love and validate it by someone else's existence but mark my word on this when you have a partner that is insecure in a relationship then you start to bring the other partner down with you and this challenges you they try to bring you down consciously and unconsciously so when they feel insecure your energy is being attacked and questions sometimes you now have to live with this and it influences these situations I mean I'm talking about more I talk about this more and more so if you are single and also watching this article my suggestion moving forward is to find someone who knows how to handle life's problems and has to know how to handle themselves when your partner comes to you and ask you help or says she has a bad day and just wants to spend some time with you to make it better it's about how they act when these problems arise do they go for you for comfort or do they go for you for rebuttal this is for all relationships in your life if this is happening then I remind recommend for you to effectively communicate with them and probably not right away when it's in the heat of the moment but it's important at the same time that we both voice our standards and our boundaries you can say something like this I'll give you an example listen I love you and the way
you spoke to me last night was not the way I want to be spoken to you anymore it does not help us solve our problems as a couple we have to learn from each other and build a stable ground as the problems we face come at us as a team and the way you projected to me didn't show that we were a team and I want to be one I know that we can do better this is constructive feedback to help your partner grow and it's coming from a place of a we instead of an i or you and placing fingers how you grow in partnership is by challenging your partner from a state of groundedness and not throwing your integrity under the rug so healthier relationships are flourished number one by you yourself
being grounded and healthy yourself but also challenging yourself to build that foundation when challenges arise in a relationship if you're having problems in your relationship today I encourage you to download my 35 rules to save your relationship was it it which is an extremely amazing book that I wrote with another coach that specializes in marriages divorce and breakups and this is something that we will not go wrong in and this is something I highly highly encourage you to download so I'll put that below in the description link as always I'm so happy you join me in this article I have a welcome your comments concerns questions give this article a thumbs up and share it with someone who needs to hear this as always I'll see you again in the next article and remember you are always left bye for now
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